How to be a middle aged parent and still relate to your teenager (ish).

Teenage Slang

It’s bad enough that I’m a middle-aged parent. The wrong side of 45. That I homeschool my kids and so therefore only get to speak to another adult when the farmer needs help shifting the cows.

It’s hard enough that  I emigrated from a trendy, city chic lifestyle in the heart of Bath a decision that I  have to justify to my kids every time I get the HP sauce out. An hour from the city lights by train. Yes. There were trains. Real ones. With buffet cars and everything.

I moved myself and my family to the furthest region that sits at the furthest tip of the country that sits at the furthest end of the entire world. And from there, built a house in the shadow of a volcano, up along a really long road that takes ages to get to.

All of these factors regardless that they were definitely the best decisions of my life can leave a particular woman feeling isolated. Remote. Secluded. Cut off. Not with it.

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Can you help to move me please you middle aged cow.

It’s a tragic feeling to be 46, and to not understand a single word of what your teenagers are going on about. That is where I found myself yesterday. My daughter laughing away with her skypey ghosty, not real world friend. “HaHaHa! You’re suuuch a noob” she hooted. Even though, ten minutes earlier she had asked if she could skip karate as her stomach was cramping and she was probably going to need surgery.

Not just feeling like a silly old bag now, but making myself look even more like one, I stopped the wiping down of the kitchen worktop, mopped my brow and questioned: “did you just say boob?

I was given ‘the look’.

I remember when it was me that used to give those looks. When my mum asked me why I kept referring to everything as, ‘Rad!’

“Because it’s rad to say rad that’s why”. Duh.

Words like rad, ace, wicked and busted were commonplace in my vocabulary (in fact they still are, Christ Liz what a saddo) and no doubt they bugged the hell out of my Mother, but I didn’t pepper every single sodding sentence with them.

To be hip and cool and gain the trust and respect from our teenagers, maybe even become, you know, their friends (think Madonna and Lourdes, Vic and Cruz) we have to get down, hang loose, speak their lang.

Here are some wicked words or phrases that’ll take you to the party and I’m not talking the Tupperware one, my babes. So sit back, take a chill pill and read on.

  • Same. Here you go. Here’s one to drive you mental. Same literally means ‘I feel the same or I understand how you feel’. Being lazy arsed teenagers though, they do not say the full sentence. Instead, they just say the last word of it. “I think I’ll go to the gym today” “Same”.”My mums being a total cow” “same”. Or, the one that totally confuses the bejeezus out of me is: teen falls over and twists their ankle. Friend, looking on, doesn’t think to ask if the poor sod needs any help. No. Just shakes their head and says “Same”. What the hell is THAT all about??
  •  Streaks. When I first heard my boy say this, I was impressed. I thought he’d been doing a bit of 1980s history. Looking back at the dangerous life that I led as a teenager when to see two boobies running across Twickenham was the highlight of the year. But no. ‘Streaks’. A set of snappy, crappy, snap chat thingys that you keep sending to the same person. If you want a bit of a laugh, switch off the wifi before midnight and hear your teenager wail “Noooo! I’m gonna lose my streaks now!” Ah, Shaddap streaker.
  • Bro*. Friend/mate/pal . Regardless of the fact that my 16-year-old son was born and raised for the first 8 years of his life in Bath, probably the poshest city IN THE WORLD, he insists on calling everyone he meets, ‘Bro”. Being the open minded and respectful Mother that I am, I like to remind him, a lot,  that he is not actually a gangster in New Jersey, rather a homeschooled British laddy living up a long road under a volcano.*After doing my research, I found that the term ‘Bro’ has been in use since the 60s. Hmmph. I was obviously hanging with the wrong dudes.
  • Fam. (Short for family) Mates/ friends. Like an extension of the bro but this time referring to the plural. “I’m missing my fam”, “I’m with my Fam tonight.” Er, no, Sonny Jim. Actually, you’re not, are you? Were you with your family, those dishes would be done, you’d be practising your piano, and we’d all be in a mood. Like a real damn Fam.
  • Chur. Thank you/ hello/ok/yes/nice/goodbye. Confused? Not as much as I  am when every single friggin thing I ask my son, he answers with “Chur”. “Here’s your dinner.” “Chur”. “I’ll pick you up at 6.” “Chur”. Grrr. Chur off I say.
  • Beef. Issue/an argument/confrontation. I sort of get this one. I think. I sometimes describe people who are muscley as being ‘beefy’, so maybe it’s similar. “She’d better watch out, I’ve got beef with her” or “he is gonna be in such beef”. Do I get it? Nah, actually I don’t. Knowing me I’d get it wrong and say pork. Doesn’t quite have the same ring, does it? “Oi, porky! I’ve got a pork wich yooz”.
  • Lit. Amazing/good/cool. I’m guessing but am probably wrong, that this is an abbreviation of literally. Again, they just can’t be bovered to  say the whole word. Too much effort is not cool. I’ve heard it used in “This party is lit” “Do you want to come round to my place?” “lit!”.Excuse me if I sound like a divvy but I don’t get it.  Lit what?? A fire? A ciggy? English Lit? Lit, tit, fit, sh*t to that I say.

So there they are then. Learn those, and you’re on the road to a Maddy and cruisey relationship. No more will your teenagers look at you as though you are the oldest, slowest, most boring dinosaur that crossed their dirty sock studded path.

You’ll be rockin’ and rolling. You’ll be Fan dabee dozie. Trust me. I know these things. There’s no one cooler than me. Yooz are my fam now, yooz are lit. I got no beef with yooz. Chur fam.

Kind regards, Liz.

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Hiding in my bedroom so the fam can’t find me…

 

63 thoughts on “How to be a middle aged parent and still relate to your teenager (ish).”

    1. Haha! It certainly is! I think he’d have me out away if I said that! I’ve only just started to accept sweet (NZ slang for good) and we’ve been here 8 years! Thanks so much for reading and for the fab linky xx

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  1. Oh I hear you!! A favourite around here is “I can’t breathe” to almost anything that they can’t deal with or just can’t! Evidently they can breathe but apparently they can’t! ‘Same’ drives me insane! Obvs we never did things like this, like! #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. hahaha! I can’t breathe! I can just imagine mine saying that, Id better not let them read this, it might give them so more amo to use against me… thanks for reading! x

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  2. Hahaha thanks for the highly informative post. My kids are still little so I don’t have this yet BUT my hubby works in an office with a load of students and he comes out with phrases like this and then laughs when I look totally confused. Surely I can’t have lost “it” already?? I’m only 30! Noooo! #stayclassymama

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  3. Oh my goodness, I can’t cope, this is a whole other language that I need to try and learn but it makes no sense and seems so random. Ahhh, much like teenagers I guess? That explains the crazy language. I will stick to latez (from my day) at least that vaguely makes sense 😉 #FridayFrolics

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  4. We talked about language like this at my recent school reunion and I couldn’t remember half the phrases we used to use! #stayclassymama

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  5. Can’t stop laughing while reading. First thing I thought about was “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”. Yes, way! I can’t recall having this type of convo with my daughter, but with my 16-year-old son, it’s like this every day.He always ends his sentence with “Legit” meaning “That’s true” or “GG” meaning “Good Game”, whatever that is. And laughs at me whenever I try to be cool and use these words too. Whatever. Like what I always say, as long as he doesn’t curse then we’ll “Be EXCELLENT to each other”. And about you moving your family to the furthest region of Bag End, I’d say that’s “BODACIOUS”!

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  6. Can’t stop laughing while reading. First thing I thought about was “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”. Yes, way! I can’t recall having this type of convo with my daughter, but with my 16-year-old son, it’s like this every day.He always ends his sentence with “Legit” meaning “That’s true” or “GG” meaning “Good Game”, whatever that is. And laughs at me whenever I try to be cool and use these words too. Whatever. Like what I always say, as long as he doesn’t curse then we’ll “Be EXCELLENT to each other”. And about you moving your family to the furthest region of Bag End, I’d say that’s “BODACIOUS”!

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  7. Hah! Hilarious! I love the Bro, Chur and Lit slang words and their meanings! My two are a lot younger than yours (even though I’m not far off your age), so I’ll be bearing these all in mind should they start to crop up in conversation. Who knows what sort of words they will be speaking then. I’m off to investigate exactly where you and your volcano are! #CoolMumClub

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    1. Thank you Cheryl! Last night we got a new one… Bae “she’s my Bae ” it’s a Bae” I’m assuming, because I’m so with it, that it means babe??!! Thanks for reading! X
      Ps: under Mt Taranaki in New Zealand!

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  8. Whilst knowing the slang is good as it means we know what the hell is that they’re talking about. Using the slang is rather sad. There’s nothing worse than a parent – or any adult come to that – attempting to be with it. (Or even worse, down with the kids. A part of me has died of shame whilst typing that last phrase btw).

    A joy as always! Thank you 🙂

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  9. Omg this is amazing. Chur and Fam confused me slightly but I guess I get it. Out of curiosity does your son use anything other than Snapchat? My younger cousin said she doesn’t use anything else other than Snapchat to talk to “fam” (did I get that right?)😂 Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

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    1. Ok? Have you got a pen ready bro?
      Snap chat, instagram, FB, (not twitter… too boring for him) you tube, Skype… looking at how much time he stands staring into the screening grinning to himself I’m guessing there’s more, but they’re the ones I know about!
      Thanks for reading brother from another mother…( oh god no…) 😫😂😂

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  10. Oh god, I’m really not looking forward to this stage at all…!! The day my children say something like ‘I got beef wit ya bro, but it’s rad,’ I’ll totally lose my s**t!!!! I was going to say ‘whyyyy do they have to do it????’ but like you say, we all did it, so I’ll have grit my teeth and cringe internally!
    #bigpinklink

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  11. Chur is a new one on me but I’d heard the others. Is it wrong that I still seem to speak fluent teen lol
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
    Debbie

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  12. I am familiar with all of these except for streak and chur. I am with you on those two. What? Thankfully, my teenager doesn’t talk like most other teenagers so I don’t hear these things and I am spared dirty looks for not understanding but I do talk to late teens and early 20-somethings so I think its a good thing I’m familiar with most of these, lol #bloggerclubuk

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  13. In general I used to ignore my teens with their teen speak, I didn’t want or need to know and half the time the words were used in an attempt to wind me up. The only one that ever puzzled me was ‘sick’ as in representing something good, once I started using it, they soon stopped #tweenteensbeyond

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  14. Brilliant – I’d not heard of Chur … thanks for making me one of the hipsters … I’m pretty sure I’d be a 1st class nerd if I went to school in middle England these days! I think my step-daughter (14) speaks a different language most of the time. Scary stuff. I used to be cool.
    #fridayfolics

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    1. At least you ‘used’ to be…! According to my son,who professes to know these things, I never did any of the things I tell him I did when I was a teenager. It was ‘different’ back then you see…😉

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  15. Beef is the top one in our house. Every day my daughter charges into the house after school and says “Mum there was so much beef going on at school today!” There is a TV programme in the UK at the moment called Love Island which is responsible for dumping a lot of new words into our teen vocab including Melt (soppy), Muggy (someone taking you for a fool) , Pied Off (have the mick taken out of you)…the list is endless. Reality TV has a lot to answer for. Try them out on your teens and see what they come back with. They may think you are uber cool, ahead of the curve or just weird! #TweensTeensBeyond

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  16. Hahah this is so funny! I think some of these phrases must be regional as my 13 year old has never even heard of some! Its a whole new world these days, I thought I was down with the kids but I’m so not! #dreamteam

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