It’s not fair. I won’t tell you what my mother used to retort with when I used to bellow this at her from the upstairs landing. All I’ll say was it involved a gentleman with no underpants who originated from Timbuktu. No PC parenting when I was a girl.
I’ve just had that unoriginal accusation hurled at me for not volunteering to be a taxi service at 9 o’clock tonight.
Tempted as I was to fire back about me having a bottle of Saviginion Blanc chilling in the fridge with my name on it, and how it had to be drunk by 8.30pm otherwise it would explode, and my head would fall off, my knickers would inflate, and the house would blow up. I didn’t.
I wasn’t given a chance. Instead, I was treated to a complimentary door slam and an “oh forget it” for dessert.
As a matter of fact Missy, yes, I’d like to do just that and forget it. But, I’m not like a snap chat thingymabob. 10 seconds glory and then snap! Ready to move on. No. I’m still here. Seething. Old people never forget, remember that.
Slam.
PLEASE. Stop slamming the bloody doors.
You see my cherub, here’s the thing. We didn’t go for the expensive option on doors when we were building this house. Being on a budget we went for the cheaper ones. The naughty builder didn’t think to warn us that in 6 years time those same doors would be slammed approximately 1007 times a day. You were only 7 when we built the house, and the only thing you used to do to the doors back then was stick ‘I love you mummy’ pictures on them with chewing gum.
The Teenage Classic: It’s not fair.
It’s not fair.
As I sit outside sulking, hunched over my laptop with the smelly blue fleecy blanket wrapped around my shoulders -freezing but too proud to go inside, I think of all of the things that I think aren’t fair.
Open that God Slam Door lady. Heres a few “It’s not fairs” of my own.
The Times When Adults Want to Say: It’s Not Fair!
- It’s not fair…that you don’t go to bed at 7 pm anymore.
- Or that I did 3 sets of lunges yesterday and now I’m walking as though I’m riddled with arthritis.
- It’s not fair…that I’m acquiring jowls.
- Or that I can’t turn my phone off at the hairdressers in case you need to know where the green felt tip pen is.
- It’s not very fair…that there’s not enough fibre in a bowl of crunchy nut cereals for my bowels to function properly
- Or that just when I get my head around something the new version comes out.
- It’s certainly not fair…that the cat keeps pi**ing in the plant pot.
- Or that I haven’t been able to clean the bathroom for over two weeks.
- Or come to think of it, that I haven’t got a cleaner to clean the bathroom.
- It’s not fair… that the only time I get to read my
phonebook is in the filthy bathroom. - that I don’t want to cook dinner again this week.
- And it’s just not fair…that we can’t afford a takeaway for 4 people.
- It’s not fair…that I threw away that little rubber thing off the Hoover, and now the handle keeps collapsing when I push down too hard.
- It’s not fair…that other parents never argue with their kids.
- It’s really not fair (or true)…that other parents get to go out late, and their children don’t even phone them to check up on them.
- That I hate going out at night. Anywhere. But sometimes I have to to prove that I’m still young.
- It’s not fair…that the recycle bin stinks of curdled milk.
- And that I can’t find a washing powder that makes my whites white and not grey.
- It’s not fair…that I can’t find a toothpaste that makes my teeth white and not yellow.
- Or that it’s not cool in New Zealand to have a tan
- It’s not fair…that, as a result, I look like death warmed up.
- It’s certainly not fair…that a glass of wine has the same amount of calories as a cheese and ham toastie.
- Or hat since I started homeschooling you 6 years ago, I’ve had cheese and ham toasties for my lunch nearly every day.
- It’s not fair…that you look beautiful in your glasses, but I look like Fiona from Shrek in mine.
- It’s not fair…that the blue fleecy blanket is too big to go into the washing machine and that’s why it stinks.
- Or that when your brother has his head phones on he pretends he can’t hear me, even though they haven’t developed such advanced noise blocking headphones and if they had they wouldn’t be $69 from the Wharehouse.
- That when your bedrooms are tidy, you leave the door closed but when they look like something that a dog wouldn’t sleep in you insist the door is kept wide open.
- It’s not bloody fair…that it’s not effing fair. End of.
Right, that’s it then. Rant over. Do you have any it’s not fairs you’d like to share? Leave a comment below x
Oh, hang on, one more…
It’s not fair that I’ve given in about the taxi ride.
Oh liz! Brilliant! Made me laugh out loud! Xxx
Thank you Mum xxx ❤️❤️
I laughed and cried with you about how unfair life can be. I did want to clear the air that I DO in fact argue with my kids. 🙂 Also, I miss the days when my teen went to bed early!
Glad to hear it! Phew! X
Looks like I have a lot to look forward to in a few years time!
#ThatFridayLinky
Thanks for reading!
It’s not fair that the bloody condom split 14 years ago! (did I just say that out loud!?)
Hahaha! That’s made me smile Alex ??
The sooner teenagers learn that life isn’t fair, full stop, the better it will be for all of us! Mind you…I wouldn’t have as much material for my blog lol! 🙂
No! Me neither… they had better not start being nice…THEN what would we write about??? ?
Ha, oh, this is brilliant! I can think of a few of my own to add your list. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky
Haha! So funny life is not fair! I have heard that more times than I care to mention Thank you for linking to #ThatFridayLinky Please come back next week
Thank you! ?
This was the first thing I read today and it really made me laugh!! Teenagers are a funny species haha. #ThatLinkyFriday
Thank you so much! Always nice to start the day smiling ?
LOVE THIS!!!!! #bigpinklink
Aww, thank you so much xx
This made me smile 🙂 Life isn’t fair as I frequently tell my child. Get over it 🙂
That’s right my friend! ?
Haaa! Oh no now I’m ever so slightly dreading the teenage years! At the same time though, I felt, reading this, like you and your daughter have a really special connection. She’s so lucky to have a mum with such a good sense of humour! It’s good to know that ultimately relenting is a mum-trait that never goes away – its sweets for me these days but I know it’ll be playing taxi soon! Really enjoyed this – funny but so poignant at the same time. #BigPinkLink
What a gorgeous comment, thank you! I’m glad you picked up on the fact that actually, yes, we are very close! I never thought she would do the stereotype teenage girl thing though, but I forgive her as in every other way she’s still my perfect girl❤️
Sent too soon! I wanted to say that the early years of parenting is all about putting in the groundwork isn’t it? And then hopefully when the tougher years come along they remember how nice you were with all of those sweets! Thanks again for your comment xx
haha seriously brilliant, is isn’t fair that I don’t have a cleaner! And why can’t they go to bed and actually say in bed at 7pm????? WHY!!!! Motherhood I guess. #dreamteam
Oh, the days of 7pm… the evening used to last forever! Thanks for reading my lovely x
Oh, you are brilliant! As is this very post! Love it, so truthful, funny, and authentic! #bigpinklink xo
Thank you so much Lisa xx
It’s not fair that I can’t read a post by Liz without my stupid middle-aged 3 c-section-abused bladder betraying me as I laugh.
That b***dy lying builder should have warned you about the doors. #NoLinkyJustLoveReadingYou
Hello lovely!! Xx thank you! How I wish I could chat to you about stuff Prabs… look like you’re having a beautiful summer ? hope you’re all happy, thanks for this comment, I really, really needed that this morning!! Xxx
I haven’t got teenagers yet but i could still nod along to most of these! haha! #stayclassymama
OMG liz that is hilarious! I’m with you on every point….I love the lunges…god that is so true…..?????#blogcrush
Thank you my lovely xx
Hahaha! This made me laugh. I’m dreading this with my twin boys when they’re older!!
Also, high five to not wanting to go out anywhere at night! I’m the same! #blogcrush
Welcome! Fellow anti socialite ? thanks so much for reading x
It’s not fair…that you don’t live next door to me!!! I LOVE this!!! So dead on right!!!
Just perfect!!!
#blogcrush
Haha! That would be fabulous wouldn’t it?! Pop over for a glass of wine and a chat next time you’re in New Zealand! Xx
This is brilliant, too many hilarious quotes too mention but ‘my knickers will inflate’ is a cracker! It’s all so unfair isn’t it but nobody gives a toss about us and that’s totes unfair. Subscribed to you now so I won’t miss a thing as I love your posts. X
Oh thank you Susie! That’s made my struggling Monday morning better ? xx
This is just genius! I have a few it’s not fair of my own to share if i may?
It’s not fair that i get less sleep now than when both my kids were babies
It’s not fair I can’t sit for 5 seconds before someone asks me to do something for them
It’s not fair that I can’t enjoy my meals without a kid wanting to sit on my lap….. I could go on but you get it right? Thank you for joining us at #StayClassyMama
Thank you my lovely xx
I’m 26 bit cam still so clearly moaning at my parents about everything and saying life was unfair when I didn’t get my own way. Last month My 3 year old uttered his first ‘it’s unfair’ and I really don’t like it now the shoe is on the other foot haha. Your list did make me smile and I had no idea there were that many calories in wine!xx #blogcrush
Thank you for your comment Wendy x
back again from this week’s #BlogCrush … I hope there haven’t been too many declarations of unfairness since you wrote this post!xx
This is brilliant and too true – I don’t think teens realise how much of being an adult isn’t fair lol
Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
Debbie
Thank you Debbie!
Dropping by with love from #blogcrush <3
I just added you as my #BlogCrush M’wah! xoxo
Thanks Lisa! That’s made my New Zealand Saturday morning! Xx?
Nope, life isn’t fair. This is one teenage thing I don’t miss. It’s not fair that I’ve got to go through it all again.
#blogcrush
Oh no!! Mine are only 3 years apart so I’m kind of going through it all in one massive hormonal hit. That’s not fair…??
Yes! Preach it! I would like to add that it’s not fair that I have to find, buy, and wrap everyone’s christmas presents and I probably won’t receive any myself (unless I buy them!) Haha.
Also, congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush
Thank you Lucy! I’ve been so busy lately that I’ve neglected my linkys… batting back on track though and will see you all soon! X