Because we are kind and occasionally like to give the kids a break from sitting on the side of the road sucking up noodles, we decided to treat them to a proper tourist day out.

The term ‘tourist’ sends shivers down my spine. It is a dirty word in our family, we who have been backpacking around Asia for the past four months.

“Why can’t we just eat here? You’ll hear my daughter wailing as she walks past a yuppy restaurant with chalkboard menus, trendy wooden plates  and proper seats, ‘They do spaghetti bolognese and e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g-!”

But no.

Marching on like a sergeant major with my nose in the air, I rant on and on about how ‘We didn’t come all the way to Vietnam to eat spaghetti with tourists.’ and then plonk my family down at the side of another road for yet another plate of street food. Sonny, sitting with his knees rammed into his chin on the far too small Vietnamese plastic chairs, and Tessa asking if we can get a packet of chocolate biscuits on the way home.

Today, however, I very kindly agree with Brian to take the kids to see the dark caves in Phong Nha. Phong Nha is in Vietnam. If you haven’t been, go. It’s beautiful. You might just want to read this post on scams in Vietnam first, though. I wouldn’t want you to be caught off guard.

There.  That’s the travel blog duty complete.

Phong Nha Dark Caves are a teenager’s dream come true, they have a zip wire and an adventure climbing rope over the water. There is mud, and there are head torches. There is a guide. And there are masses of tourists. I had already convinced myself that it would be hell on earth.

We arrived at the meeting place ready for our day of adventure. The average age of the crowd was about nineteen. Jolly good thinks Liz. A day with the young ones is always good for the morale.

Noticing the size of the zip wire and all the muscley young bods, I started to sweat. ‘You could go with Daddy and swing over the water while I stay here and watch the motorbikes.’ I suggested, but no. They weren’t having any of it.

“Oh, Mummy! Just relax! It is going to be such fun!”

I’m not sure about the word fun. It makes me nervous and sometimes agitated…