We have been on our backpacking trip around the world for two months. We started with America and then flew to Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka has been amazing. Absolutely stunning. I wrote a post on what surprised me about Sri Lanka here. I’d say one of the highlights of the country is the many beautiful train journeys.
Now. You know me. I’m not one to moan, and I strive to remain positive.
I take copious amounts of hormone therapy and wine to aid this, and although travelling the world may seem lovely and romantic, sometimes the reality is a tad different.
I wasn’t going to tell you this. I said, “No Liz. That’s disgusting. It’s not the sort of thing you want your kids to read”. But I’m sorry. Someone’s going to have to hear about it.
And mummy needs to write in her travel diary.
So here it is. My Travel Bog Diary #3. Apologies to the kids in advance…
Oh Liz…I’m absolutely crying here….??? you describe this so well. I was in Thailand as a backpacker years ago in my own Yoga trousers having a similar incident so I know and feel your pain. I hope it didn’t detract from that lovely train journey too much! These things are send to make us stronger….although perhaps leggings maybe a better choice with squat loos! Good luck and just think, at least your thigh muscles will be toned after all that squatting. Xxx
Yes! Leggings! That’ll do it. Or I was thinking perhaps shorts? Like the ones Tess wears that just come to the cheek of her bum. NO. Maybe not. We don’t want to send half of India screaming into Bangladesh in terror. I’ll try the leggings then! Thanks for reading my friend xxx
It is 5.30am and after an op on Friday and a weekend in intensive care I am now on a ward and in need of some light entertainment, post my latest morphine dose and where else to go but to your blog?
My parents still remind me of a similar incident in a squat loo back in my own teenage years which at the age of 50 is quite depressing and embarrassing really!
I travelled around Asia during my gap year and your train story brings back many happy memories of hours spent staring at beautiful landscapes through open doorways astride a backpack and of course in my faded memory I was that gorgeous girl in her twenties who thought she was the epitome of travel cool!
The other thing that made me laugh was the description of Brian looking at you in the way he might an old woman with no teeth sucking her thumb. It reminded me of a similar scenario last night when I asked my hubby to help me aboard the disabled chair and crank me up and over the bath in the hospital so I could shower and wash my hair. It was a defining moment in our marriage for sure and we both laughed so hard I thought I was going to burst my incisions.
Laughter is a cure for many ills and I feel there will be many 5am trips to your blog over the coming weeks my love.
Take care and I hope you have thrown away those pants!
Thank you for your lovely comment Jo! I have privately emailed you! xx
Lizzie, you have truly found your real vocation – I have been pissing myself repeatedly (excuse the metaphor) reading this latest update. Your blogs are totally awesome – interesting, informative and most importantly of all VERY, VERY funny!!!!!! I look forward to the next update which I have no doubt whatsoever will be as hilarious as ever. Much love to you, Brian, Sonny and Tessa and enjoy the rest of your wonderful adventure!!!! xxxxxxxxx
Oh, thank you Jon! That’s a really lovely comment. I wish I could say I was funny in real life but alas. As you know all too well, I am just the girl who drinks too much wine and wets myself at your 4 square “Crisps” impression! Remember??! Love to you too my friend xxx
I shat mine in Calcutta once. Same scenario, squat toilet misjudgement 5 minutes before bus departure. I took them off, put them in a plastic bag and changed into clean ( ish) ones. You had your backpack….ummm… ..
Also need photo of these trousers.
I knew it!! Only you would carry a plastic bag and some clean pants… You really are the ultimate in organisation Alysun. Right. I’m taking a picture of the pants and I’m putting them in the post. Stand by…They’re beautiful I warn you. You will want them.
Oh Lizzie mint!!! Only someone as beautiful inside and out as you would have the guts to give such an honest and depreciating description of her trip. We have all “been there, done that”at some time in our life, but to admit it to millions takes a confidence not many women have.You nearly made me follow suit with laughter and the description of Brian’s look rang every bell !!! Love,love,bloody love, your real life confessional blogs, funniest thing ever, can’t wait for the next one!!! ( don’t worry, the glamour puss travelling girl will get pregnant and inherit weak bladder and varicose veins) ….. hopefully!!!!!!xx
Thank you xxx You know I only write them for you xx
Hi Lizzie .. after reading your blog I have decided to remove my “Aladdin Pants” from my suitcase .. like you I remembered the “Julia” look but then remembered that a “Tena Lady” will not fit correctly in them!! Keep the news coming Lizzie – I love to read them and they certainly “lift” my mood .. lots of love to you all … xxx
Oh, thank you, les xx I’m sure you look gorgeous in your Julia Pants! Keep reding! xx
What a good laugh out loud all the way through! The more embarrassing it gets, the funnier you get ! Keep going Liz- cant wait for the next one!!
You’re too kind Miss Innes…I’m hoping that will be the most embarrassing it gets!! xx
Absolutely hilarious!!!!!! Got pretty used to squat loos as a youngun, man I love my harem, but they’ve definitely got the bucket effect, must remember this for future travel excursions. Or buy a she-wee
Yes! The bucket effect… Thats it! I still love them too. There’s nothing comfier than those pants eh, Mel?! xx
I once lost a poo in a train in India. It missed the hole in the floor and pinged off somewhere. Never did find it.
Haha!How is the planning going Floss? x
Liz, this is soooo funny, all the more so because we went to Sri Lanka a couple of years ago and I encountered several of those glamorous piss holes in the ground. I became obsessed with toiletry functions of all my family too, and I remember screaming like a crazed psychopath at my daughter who actually sat on one with her little bare bum, right on it, and all I could envisage were the squillions of germs all over her. As for the young tanned lithe youths, I find myself enviously ogling them like some weird stalker, every time we go on holiday now. I’ve hit that awful middle aged stage, when you’re jealous of toned young bouncy young people! But like you, I loved Sri Lanka, loved loved loved. The people, their peaceful nature, the countryside, the beaches. Hope the trip is going really well. What an adventure. xxxx
You’re so funny miss Susie… Just been over to your site having a binge read! xx
Wonderful, wonderful! You are going to write a book aren’t you. Please. I’ll be first in the queue. I’m just having a long overdue catch up on all your news. Wow, viral – brilliant. Not surprised in the least. I’m having a nice giggle to myself here and am on a trip around your latest posts as a kind of mini-holiday. You are having a ball aren’t you. Just brilliant. Lots of love xx
Oh, Nicky! Thanks so much for that lovely comment and I’ll remember that… when the book comes out you get a signed copy!:> Hope you and the family are well, so lovely to hear from you my friend xx