Worrying about the future. That’s what I’ve been up to. This post is over a week old. I’ve been too scared to share it with you. It’s a post about worrying about the future and what that looks like. I couldn’t bring myself to hit the publish button. I thought you might think I was a big baby. A mardy scaredy pants. And then I remembered my promise to you -that I would always tell you the truth. And so here it is. My diary from ten mornings ago. Written at 7 am after having spent half the night lying awake worrying about the future. Worrying about our big adventure. To leave everything behind and travel the world for a year. (more…)
Is it possible to leave everything behind for a whole year? The house, the job, the schooling, the bills.The dog. Is that possible? Leave everything behind to go and travel the world. Could I start a travel blog? Take two teenagers, a shed load of hormones, four rucksacks, and a fistful of savings and go around the world?
I’m 46. Am I too old? Will Brian’s back be able to take sleeping ion a futon? These, along with a thousand others are the questions have been plaguing me for the past few months.
We are somewhat addicted to change, Brian and I, and have always lived by the rule that if something wasn’t making us completely happy than we would have to set about changing it, to live life differently. (more…)
Judging the judgemental is like watching a dog chase its tail around in circles endlessly. It is a pointless exercise. You will never bite off the tail.
Judging The Judgemental And How We Need To Catch From Ourselves Doing It.
Dear judgemental person,
I am trying really hard not to judge you for what you said about me. I know that judging you for being judgmental of me, is like (more…)
Living with hormones. You have to love the little buggers, don’t you? Let’s face it, they’re with us whether we like it or not. Bouncing around in their cute, fluffy playground. Crying, fragile, throwing tantrums, refusing to play ball and getting all upset. Twisting the swing round and round until they feel dizzy. Becoming unbalanced because someone heavier sits on the see-saw.
Want to know my favourite of all hormones? The one that has plagued my adult life;
I had my first child when I was 30. He started school when I was 34. You think you know it all at 30, but of course, this isn’t true. Nor at 40, and probably not 50, 60, 70 or 80 either. I suppose life would be boring if we knew it all. Sort of.
But. There are things that I do know now, things that had I known then would have made my life a damn sight easier. Or maybe just my conscience clearer.
I feel like shit today. I’ve tried to shake it off but to no avail. One of those days.
I had to phone the piano teacher and tell her Tessa no longer wanted to have lessons. She’s 78. She’s been teaching her for the past 6 years. It was hideous. She was obviously upset and disappointed. Me, babbling on like a duck. Trying to make it sound better than it was. (more…)