Couchsurfing. What is it? Is it just for backpacking teenagers? Is it safe? And, most importantly, can you go Couchsurfing with kids?
Or, are you all going to end up in some weirdo’s basement, chained to the walls with only a doll in a clown suit for company
Couchsurfing is not for everyone. But it should be.
If you are travelling the world as we are and want to experience some local culture, then there is no better way to do it than to couchsurf.
Ok. I’m teasing about the clown suit. Forgive me. I’m middle-aged and have been travelling with my two teenagers for too long – without the aid of wine might I add.
I’m sure you understand.
So far, we have been Couchsurfing as a family in America, Sri Lanka, Japan, Italy and Germany. we are an official couchsurfing family.
As we travel the world in the next few months, we plan to couch surf in every country that we visit.
Couchsurfing is not only a wonderful way to meet people but it also saves us a fortune and we are enjoying it to the extent that we actually prefer to stay on someone’s couch (not literally, more on that later) rather than sit in a boring hotel room.
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What is Couchsurfing? A Short Review.
Couchsurfing is an organisation in which you can choose to be a ‘host’ a ‘surfer’ or both. I don’t know why it’s called surfing. Probably because surfers are cool. That’s why I’m doing it. I’m a cool mummy.
The hosts are usually people who have travelled themselves extensively and after having surfed with other people are now in a position to repay the favour and host other travellers with a free bed in their home – or maybe a couch.
The surfers (like us) are travellers who are looking to meet locals, share experiences together and explore what it’s like to live in the part of the world that your hosts call ‘home’. No amount of expensive hotels will give you this opportunity.
Couchsurfing used to be free. But they recently started charging a small amount (I think it’s around $25 a year) to become a member. Annoying in one sense as it was always free but not so bad in that it means that the organisation can keep running.
Remember your manners when you couchsurf. A small gift is etiquette and is always appreciated.
A bottle of wine or, if the host doesn’t drink (is there such a person??), a jar of coffee and some washing powder. Perhaps even a takeaway meal.
If you surf at my house I’ll take a bottle of Merlot, please.
Couchsurfers have a profile (usually pretty extensive hopefully) in which they describe themselves, their interests, where they have travelled and what sort of person they are willing to host. (Families, couples only, solo female travellers etc.).
Don’t bother applying to a family if it states on a hosts profile that they are looking for single twenty-somethings to have a party with.
Couchsurfing hosts often put images of their homes onto their profile – this takes the shock out of what you are turning up to. Not always though. Our Sri Lanka Couchsurfing host didn’t post any images. I’m glad they didn’t otherwise I wouldn’t have gone and would have missed out on a memorable experience.
Couchsurfing For Families. Where We Have Been Couchsurfing With Our Kids:
Couchsurfing In America
Charleston in America was our first couchsurf. It was very relaxed; we had our own room and (almost) an ensuite bathroom.
It was weird in the sense that the owner was never there. She left the key in a safe box outside, and we simply let ourselves in. How trustworthy is that? The lady was a devout Christian who gave me the chance to talk to the kids about religion.
Back in New Zealand, we homeschool, so that was the religious education lesson ticked.
We have also been Couchsurfing with the kids in Washington Dc. The lady was a government lobbyist. The night we arrived, she was having a party with some friends in celebration of her latest victory over a bill she had put into government. She invited us all to eat with her and her friends which were lovely. The conversation at the dinner table was fascinating, to say the least, and needless to say, the homeschooling lesson in world politics was most definitely ticked that night.
We had our own room, and the kids were in the basement. I hadn’t told them my fear of the doll in a clown suit, so they trailed on down there, innocent and unknowing.
It was a warm, carpeted basement and the kids couldn’t believe that they had their own space.
Being in the suburbs of Washington DC meant that we had to catch public transport. Something that we might otherwise have done had we been staying in a hotel in the middle of the city.
Even though she was busy working, our host walked us to the train station and kindly gave us three unused metro tickets. She was naturally thoughtful and the kids commented that it was amazing that there were people willing to be so kind to strangers. Home education lesson number two ticked off – Social Studies.
The beauty of Couchsurfing. Not only do you get to live like a local but you get to show your children that the world is filled with generous souls.
We have also experienced Couchsurfing in Matara, Sri Lanka with the kids. Not a very comfortable stay but one that none of us will ever forget.
More on that later in the post.
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A Quick Review of Breakfast, Dinner and Wifi When You CouchSurf.
- When you couchsurf do not expect people to arrange breakfast for you. It is not a hotel.
- Where we can, we always take our own cereals and tea bags with us. We used the kitchens in all but one of our Couchsurfing places. Of course, with the permission of the hosts first. Remember to pull your weight when you couchsurf. We always wash not just our own dishes but the hosts’ as well. This is a job that the kids are always given. It makes them feel part of the whole Couchsurfing experience. Honest.
- Unless the host asks you to stay for dinner, take it that you will be making your own plans. You may be invited to use the kitchen to cook for yourselves. We were, but with a family of four I felt this was just too intrusive, so we ate out. But we did offer to prepare a meal for our host in Washington on one of the nights. This is always appreciated and an excellent way of saying thank you.
- We were given the wifi code in just one of the properties we stayed at. We didn’t ask for it; I felt that would have been rude, our host offered it to us. She probably didn’t realise that I was travelling with two wifi junkies. I dread to think what her bill would have been for December.
So. Just to be clear.
A RUNDOWN OF WHAT COUCHSURFING WITH KIDS IS:
- Exciting. Once upon a time, my kids wouldn’t have agreed with me on this, but the more they have couchsurfed, the more they have enjoyed it. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you they still prefer hotels, though – they’re teenagers remember!
- I love the feeling of apprehension you get just before you get to the couchsurfers house. Not knowing who it is you are going to meet and whether this new person will become a lifelong friend.
- I would call it exciting, my kids would call it terror.
- And yes, it sometimes is scarey. I won’t lie.
When the tuk-tuk driver pulled up to our Couchsurfing house in Sri Lanka, I thought I was going to enter into that building never to return. It was only because I didn’t want to make myself look like a baby in front of the kids – they already think I’m a scaredy cat, and I knew we had travel insurance!
Travel Insurance For When you Coushsurf
There is only one company that we use (and only ever use when we travel), and that is World Nomads. Over the years, we’ve made three claims (sorry, guys), and each time the service has been superb. There is no way that i would couchsurf without insurance.
If anything was to happen to us, at least I could say we had excellent cover. I don’t mind skimping on hotel rooms, but I will only ever get the best insurance. Check out World Nomads here.
- Couchsurfing is a way to meet local people. In the case of Sri Lanka, their families, the Aunty, the old man next door and the tuk-tuk driver who – as far as I could make out – slept in the carpark.
- And to gain inside information on the place that you are visiting and to be given valuable tips that you would not otherwise read in a guidebook.
- It is a way to step into someone else’s life for a couple of nights. In some cases, a life totally opposite to that of your own and a wonderful opportunity to see a different perspective on life.
- And, of course, Couchsurfing is an economical way to visit somewhere in the world that you’ve always wanted to see.
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Couchsurfing as a family. What my teenage son has to say about it (a PODCAST)
AND WHAT COUCH SURFING WITH KIDS ISN’T:
You have to make an effort.
After a long day on the road when you are feeling pretty knackered, and all you want to do is crash on the bed and watch some youtube junk, you cant.
You have to go and socialise. For adults, this might not be too bad, at least there may be some alcohol involved, but for teenagers, it can be tough.
My kids can manage about forty minutes, but then I can see them fading.
They also haven’t quite learned the art of speaking in whispers. I have had to mouth “SHUT UP” many times when I have caught them telling each other how the blankets smell funny – all the time with the host standing just behind the door.
A free hotel. You will be expected to (and I hope would want to) pull your weight. The host has been gracious enough to invite you to their home, at least wash the dishes and wipe the bathroom. If you can’t see yourself doing this, perhaps think about booking a cheap hotel instead.
If you happen to be in Sri Lanka then I can recommend a few that were not only cheap but were approved of by my teenagers so they must be good. We stayed at The Little Mount Guest HOuse after we had been couch surfing and it felt like the Hilton. Check it out here.
If YOU CHOOSE TO GO COUCHSURFING WITH KIDS BE PREPARED FOR THE FOLLOWING:
That you may have to sleep on the floor. It’s free. Just get on with it. (Says she who made her Son kip on the floor while she slept on the air sprung mattress).
The sheets may be a bit iffy. Not up to your usual expectations.
Sleeping On Unclean Sheets
We always travel with our sleeping bag liners for this very reason.
We used them in two of the places that we stayed in. They are brilliant and have been a Godsend when not just Couchsurfing but in a couple of dodgy hotels too.
Take Your Own Pillow
The same goes for the pillow. We have our own travel pillows.
They are soft and fleecy and pack down pretty small. There is something not very nice about sleeping on someone else’s pillow unless you know its clean.
The travel pillow is the closest thing we have to our luxurious memory foam pillow at home.
Not always, as I said, one of our hosts was never there for the whole of the three-day couchsurf, but the others were all keen and ready to chat.
Hosts are Couchsurfing because they want to meet travellers and their kids and find out about them.
You’ll be given lots of useful information. Tips on cheap restaurants, the best time to visit the Whitehouse and how to get a cheap whale-watching cruise were just some of the many invaluable pointers that we received.
And Now For A Slightly Different Couch Surfing Review. CouchSurfing With Kids in Sri Lanka…
Had I known what we were going to I would probably have backed out. I’m glad we didn’t though. The host was a really nice guy. Although, the whole experience was slightly unnerving.
Firstly, we were asked to pay a “donation’ for our stay. In return, we were told that the host’s wife would be cooking us three meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Whether we wanted it or not.
As I said though, we were keen to meet a local family who would give us inside information on the place.
Paying money isn’t usual Couchsurfing practice, but I was happy to go along with it. He was only charging us $10 per person, which still worked out pretty cheap for a night’s accommodation with all meals.
Secondly, it appeared that we were to have the only bedroom in the house, and the family were to sleep on the floor in a room next door.
As you can imagine, I wasn’t at all comfortable with this arrangement.
Partly because the sheets were still warm from where all five of them had just climbed out of bed, and partly because I couldn’t stand the fact that I was making a family sleep on a concrete floor.
I felt terrible.
But the host was adamant. He seemed momentarily insulted when I tried to insist that he, his wife and his children should not give up their room for us, so I smiled uncomfortably and told the kids through gritted teeth to bring the backpacks inside.
This was going to be a story for the future Grandchildren, I assured them.
It was awful.
There was just one large room with a single bare lightbulb, a TV in the corner (playing those annoying, screeching pop idol programmes that I talked about in my last Sri Lanka diary post) and a plastic table with some outside chairs.
The kitchen was, well, I didn’t go deep into the kitchen – I couldn’t – and wouldn’t. Not if we were to have three meals prepared for us out of it. Some things are best left unseen.
And the bathroom. The bathroom was a toilet, a bucket and a hose. All encased in three tumbling concrete walls. One side is open to the jungle, and everything missing a roof.
It wasn’t the Couchsurfing experience my kids had quite envisaged. Or that they had become accustomed to.
This made the floor in the basement look like The Ritz. But, hats off to them, after I nearly stapled their lips together so that the host couldn’t hear them crying: “There are lizards under the bed” they floated through it and got stuck in.
And the saving grace was that the host was lovely. As is the case of most Couchsurfing hosts. He was a Buddhist and spent the entire evening educating us all on his religion. That experience in itself was worth the pain of cystitis, brought on by sheer determination of not wanting to use the bucket.
His children were delightful and were intrigued by us. Touching our clothes and laughing when we sang nursery rhymes to them. Sonny did card tricks for them all. That was a real hit.
Children are a universal icebreaker. I’m so glad they were there. If you plan on Couchsurfing with kids, try to find hosts who also have a family. It makes it all the easier, especially where language barriers are a problem.
When the conversation dries up, you can always ask how far their kids can count up to in English. That’s sure to be a winner.
We had dinner, we slept (all in the same bed. Don’t ask), and we awoke. All unscathed by the smell of cat pee burning our nostrils and the walls that were alive with lizards and ants.
As I told the kids, “This is the real Sri Lanka. This is why we couch surf.”
And as they said to me…
I won’t tell you what they said to me. Message me and I’ll tell you privately.
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Couchsurfing is an experience. For everyone. And it will be for you too should you decide to try Couchsurfing with your kids. Sign up for couchsurfers now and start your adventure with your family! You will love it. And please make sure you leave me a comment below and tell me about your experiences!
You are all very brave! I did backpack in some pretty scary places when I was 18 in Thailand and Malaysia. It really opened my eyes to the poverty in this world and hopefully your kids will come away with more self appreciation and the kindness of others. I really want both mine to go travelling as it’s a real leveller in this world. Continued happiness and safety my blogging friend.
I don’t know if its brave or just hormonal induced craziness Sophie!
Yes, they are beginning to see that those with less money are the ones that tend to share what they have more freely. A fantastic lesson. Thanks for your comment Sophie xx
Once again, I loved it!! Horrible as it was you will never forget the 4 in a bed night or the bucket!! Can’t wait to hear how India pans out!xxxxx
You’re insane! DC is expensive, yes, we had to pay $60 for a motel there, with breakfast. That is $60 well spent to not have to share a house with strangers. You crazy mixed up lunatic! I used to host Couch Surfers back in Australia. I did it to be nice because I felt sorry for backpacker kids having to pay stupid prices and I thought their mums would be pleased, but after the novelty of extra laundry wore off I stopped. I never expected gifts, chores, washing up or anything, I was just doing a favour and happy to give. We don’t give to receive. They had our master bedroom with en-suite too and told us tales of previous torture chambers and sex toys ( true!) And get used to the bucket / scoop / hose arrangement, that’s what you’ll get just about everywhere in India, it’s nice when you get used to it 🙂
I was thinking of getting my sex toys out but thought I’d save that till I come and visit you!
I still can’t work out what the scoop is for? Is it for splashing yourself or what?? I dread to think. Yes, you’re right, you do feel cleaner xx
when I got home from three months in Malaysia tpilet paper and an actual toilet felt weird. I prefer the bucket / hose! You’ll learn to love it. And the real places and people are the best! The kids will be better richer people for it. Be safe in India xx
Ok. If you say so. I’ll try and love it! You are right about the kids. All of us in fact. Hope you are well my lovely and that little boy is thriving xx
This is amazing, I’ve never heard of it and would love to try it when we go travelling with our kids to the States this coming summer, although by the sounds of it they may be less keen. We have done many home exchanges in the past and just love meeting local people, I think that’s one of the best parts about travelling.
Me too Liberty! It’s not all buckets, there are a lot more benefits to Couchsurfing than just staying in a hotel. Thanks so much for your comment and nice to meet you! x
Aha-ha! Love it!
I also dragged my family round some questionable homes in South America! Sharing a floor with some mice in a barn, compost toilets, 4 in a small double bed etc etc – you get surprisably used to it after a while, but when you experience a bit of luxury again, you don’t want to go back!
Love your honesty and laughter about it all! xx
Mice??! Oh no. I would have fled a mile if there had been mice! Thank you for reading a letting me know you are there Jessica! x
Yet again another brilliant and interesting read Lizzie… (don’t know about the bucket though) I hate cystitis!!! ha ha … can’t wait for the next episode ..love to you all xx
Speechless Liz! Anyone who has travelled as a young adult will have some similar stories up their sleeve (and I do ) but I think I would have to draw the line now. Your kids deserve a medal of endurance but on the up side they will have stories to dine out on for years to come form their adventures. I hope you have a nice hostel lined up next – in the meantime I am going to check out those silk sleeping bag liners.xx
10 years ago I couch surfed in Greece and Italy, tentative at first but the best decision. I’m a single mum now, that hasn’t traveled since then. Would like to do it with my daughter, now 7. Will look into couch surfing again when the world is more sane, thanks for sharing this.
Thank Leigh. I can’t say enough positive things about it – sometimes it was a bit hairy but all in all I LOVED it! Let me know when you set off on your travels, I’d love to follow a long 🙂 Liz
This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time. SO funny! I absolutely loved it. Here’s to all the places I’ve crashed that smell vaguely like cat pee.
Thank you for such a lovely comment Vanessa x We look back with those rose tinted glasses don’t we!
My absolute dream to do this with my family, I honestly don’t know where to start with all the planning. But you have some real guts to just take the plunge seems so scary but also amazing and life changing.
I am always scared but I just think I would regret it if I didn’t try…Sometimes, just taking the first little steps makes it easier to go further towards your dream :)) Good luck and thanks so much for your comment x
My wife and I have been couchsurfing around the world for many years (Singapore, Germany, turkey, Chile, Vietnam, plus so many other places).
Bahahaha I was lmao entire article
Glad that you liked it Kassandra!