by Liz Deacle | Parenting Teenagers, Podcasts
Tessa is our daughter. She is 18. In two days’ time, she will leave me, Brian and her older brother (and the home where she grew up) to start a new life in Wellington, the capital city of New Zealand. Alone. Brian and I will officially be empty nesters.
Regular listeners to our podcast will know the effect this huge transition has had on us. Especially me. These past few months have been tough.
I always imagined that when the time came for my kids to leave home, I would be this super cool, open, liberal, go-with-the-flow parent. One who relished the opportunity of having the house to herself so she could indulge in some grown-up, mature stuff with her husband.
But no. The opposite is true (Sorry, Bri). I’m clinging to those apron strings so tightly that the poor girl can’t go to the bathroom without me trailing behind her…
In this week’s behind-the-scenes episode, you will be treated to something very rare. A one-to-one in-depth talk between me and my daughter. In it, she shares every thought going through her lovely head as she makes this big transition into adulthood. Enjoy.
PS: Enjoyed the show? Email me at [email protected] and let me know! I will pass any messages on to Tessa
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by Liz Deacle | Funny, Parenting, Parenting Teenagers
There are two parts to this answer.
1: It depends.
If your name is Karen then no. What’s there to get upset about? Your darling child is merely trying to get your attention by addressing you with the name bestowed upon you at birth.
Stop being so sensitive.
Behaviour like this can cause trigger issues and god knows you don’t want to carry one of those around on your Linda Evans shoulder pads.
But.
2: If your name is something other than Kaz (let’s go with Kaz, far cooler than Karen) and your teenager insists on using this derogatory title, then here’s what I suggest.
Let’s imagine for a moment that you are standing alone at the kitchen sink. Washing the dishes. This shouldn’t be too hard. You do it a lot.
Your teenage child enters the room. Annoyed. Huffing. Flouncing. Up for an argument. You exchange words. The child becomes annoyed.
“You’re such a Karen.” Comes forth the taunt.
Stop.
Breathe. Flick the bubbles from your flock-lined marigold gloves. Turn slowly towards your offspring. Smile. Sweetly. And say, in a voice that is calm and borderline psychopathic.
‘Fuck. You. Barry.’
Wait. Observe. Wallow in the reaction. The confusion.
Who is Barry you might ask? I have no idea. And, more importantly, neither does your child. Which makes the exercise even more deliciously victorious.
Now then Mama. Back to the dishes.
Thank you for reading this post. I am the parent of two gorgeous teenage kids that I adore far more than I’m sure is normal or healthy. If you would like to read more of my excellent parenting tips then head over to my blog and read this post. I wrote when my teenage daughter asked me to explain STDs.
Have a wonderful day,
Liz x
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by Liz Deacle | Parenting Teenagers, Personal, Travel
My son is leaving home.
In two weeks’ time, my boy, my firstborn, Sonny, who I adore more than life itself, is leaving our home and going to live in a flat with two other guys.
And I am heartbroken.
Every day for the past two weeks, I have woken up with a tight, clenching, knotty feeling in my stomach.
It’s hideous. Like a Rotweiller that refuses to let go.
I get out of bed and go into the bathroom. I sit on the loo and cry my eyes out quietly.
I don’t know if this is normal. This reaction. Probably not. This has never happened to me before, so I don’t know. All I do know is I wasn’t expecting to feel like this.
I have never understood the term ’empty nest syndrome’. Not until now, at least.
I used to look at other mothers who still have their kids at home past the age of twenty and think they were a bit weird. That kid needs to move out. Cut the apron strings.
But now it’s happening to me, and I feel as though my world is falling apart.
He’s not even going far, only into town. He’ll be right there. But I don’t care. He’s leaving.
And yes, I hear you, Tessa, when you tell me he will probably be home again in two months.
And thank you, my sweet girl, you are mature past your years.
But right now, I can only see today, and I am terrified of being without my entire family unit. It has always been us four. Always. I can’t bear it.
Two weeks of feeling like this. But you didn’t know, did you?
Of course, you never knew. Because I didn’t tell you.
You may have seen me on TikTok or Facebook. You may have read my chatty emails. And you didn’t know that these past 14 days I have been putting on a big fake front to hide the fact that my heart is breaking in two and all I want to do is take my family and run far, far away.
“He had to go some time. They can’t stay forever. You wait until he’s been gone a week, He’ll soon realise which side his bread was buttered”.
I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t know if any of these things are true, but still, I don’t care.
I probably won’t publish this post, this string of jumbled words I am typing rapidly on my keyboard with tears streaming down my face.
But if I do, it will be for one reason only.
To remind you that the person who smiles or waves at you from across the street or sends you a happy emoji on Facebook? That person who cut you up at the roundabout or ignored your friend request? They’re probably going through shit.
They probably woke up crying.
They probably sat on the loo at eight o’clock in the morning and wished it was bedtime.
They’re probably going through a huge change and adjustment. Feeling like their world is ending.
So please remember. We are all the same.
It happens to us all. No one is immune to sadness. It’s shitty, and it hurts, and it’s horrible to go through.
Let’s always strive to be kind.
Like this Content? Let’s become friends ❤️ ⬇️
by Liz Deacle | Parenting Teenagers, Time for a change
Last week I had the most terrible day.
After being on our world backpacking trip for ten months, my daughter had a meltdown and told me she couldn’t wait to go home and never wanted to set foot on an aeroplane ever again.
Not ideal when your future plans include being a family travel blogger who is going to climb mountains and swin seas with her kids in tow.
She went on to say that travelling was my dream and not hers and that she was sick of sharing her knickers with her mother who is nearly 50.
Fair enough. (more…)
by Liz Deacle | Parenting Teenagers, Reviews, world travel
Travelling with teens is one of the most enjoyable, amusing, rewarding and challenging experiences that any parent will undertake.
I know. last year saw me travelling the world for a year with my husband and our 16 and 13-year-old kids. I couldn’t have done it without wine and a comfy neck pillow for me, travel gadgets for my husband and a few teenage travel essentials for them. (more…)
