Family Time. Perfect Peace or (Mega) Pressure??

Family Time. Perfect Peace or (Mega) Pressure??

by | Funny, Podcasts

Every year is the same. October rolls around, and, without fail, the same futile conversation takes place. 

“Let’s make a pact!” Me and Bri say cheerfully as we slurp on our pumpkin soup, “This Christmas, we will… 

1: Not go overboard on presents. After all, the holiday season is about being together, not scanning the presents like scavvy vultures to see who’s spent the most. Hurray!

2: Keep the meal nice and simple. No foo-fah for us.

3: Turn off all devices. We will play board games and talk after dinner. Be like the Waltons.

4: Go easy on the alcohol. (Not sure why). Just because it’s more organic and healthy. Yippee!

5: Smile and be happy. Always. 

And every single year, the same thing happens.

We…

1: Spend shit loads of money, then get mad when each child doesn’t fall at our feet with gratitude and say,  “Wow! Thank you! I know how hard you work. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for this box of Ferrero Rocher.” 

2: Spend all day slaving over the stove making a stupidly fancy creme caramel recipe that is far too hard and involves separating eggs. Which, when served at dinner, is assumed to be shop bought.

3: Take out the phone a billion times a day and say. “Oh wait! let me video it! I’ll need to remember this when you leave home, and I’m sad and dead”.

4: Sulk because the kids don’t say how wonderful and scrumptious your creme caramel is.

5: Get pissed.

6: Get in a mood. Cry. Be miserable. Moan. Feel guilty for mentioning death at Christmastime. Cry a bit more.

 


 

This is the last podcast episode of 2022, so we thought we’d go out with a band. No holding back with this one…!

Today you will discover the reality of the holiday season in the Deacle family household, Brian’s French run-in with the runs and why Liz will never feel the same about a certain perfume ever again…

Sending you many and much of everything lovely and bright.

Liz and Bri x

 

A married couple. Husband and wife podcast about travel, life in New Zealand and family!

Oh, dear…I know that your heart was in the right place Bri, but this perfume reminds me of…

 

Links Mentioned in The Show: 

 

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Here is the D&G Perfume “Pour femme” that we talked about! (It’s actually a beautiful perfume!)

 

Email us!

Remember! if you would like us to tell the story of the Parisian dinner party, then email us at [email protected] or [email protected]. We personally reply to every email! Drop us a line to say hi!

 

We LOVE Housesitting. Want to Try it too? 

If you have been following this podcast for a while, then you will know that we have just returned for six months in Europe and Asia. While we were there, we did a lot of housesitting. We are constantly asked how we did this and if we can share the website that we used. So here it is:

The initial ‘looking part’ is free. You can oggle all of the beautiful houses around the world that are waiting for YOU to look after them. Take a sneak peek here! (As I say, looking is completely free, so gander to your heart’s content).

Then, if you are serious about using Housesitting as a tool to travel the world for free (as we do), you can use my exclusive discount code to save yourself 20% by Clicking here.

Still not sure about paying for a Housesitting membership? Remember that the cost of a yearly membership (approx $80 using the discount code above) will be paid back (and more) on the first housesitting night. It really is that simple!

 

Liz Deacle

 

 

 

Should I get upset when my teenage kids call me Karen?

by | Funny, Parenting, Parenting Teenagers

There are two parts to this answer.

1: It depends.

If your name is Karen then no. What’s there to get upset about? Your darling child is merely trying to get your attention by addressing you with the name bestowed upon you at birth.

Stop being so sensitive.

Behaviour like this can cause trigger issues and god knows you don’t want to carry one of those around on your Linda Evans shoulder pads.

But.

2: If your name is something other than Kaz (let’s go with Kaz, far cooler than Karen) and your teenager insists on using this derogatory title, then here’s what I suggest.

Let’s imagine for a moment that you are standing alone at the kitchen sink. Washing the dishes. This shouldn’t be too hard. You do it a lot. 

Your teenage child enters the room. Annoyed. Huffing. Flouncing. Up for an argument. You exchange words. The child becomes annoyed.

“You’re such a Karen.” Comes forth the taunt.

Stop.

Breathe. Flick the bubbles from your flock-lined marigold gloves. Turn slowly towards your offspring. Smile. Sweetly. And say, in a voice that is calm and borderline psychopathic.

‘Fuck. You. Barry.’

Wait. Observe. Wallow in the reaction. The confusion. 

Who is Barry you might ask? I have no idea. And, more importantly, neither does your child. Which makes the exercise even more deliciously victorious.

Now then Mama. Back to the dishes. 

Thank you for reading this post. I am the parent of two gorgeous teenage kids that I adore far more than I’m sure is normal or healthy. If you would like to read more of my excellent parenting tips then head over to my blog and read this post. I wrote when my teenage daughter asked me to explain STDs.  

Have a wonderful day,

Liz x

Liz Deacle

My most thought-provoking writing is shared in my weekly newsletter with my circle of friends. I would love to include you in that group. Sign up below.

Sign up HERE and I will send you my free weekly newsletter. It is filled with nothing but goodness and thought-provoking stuff.

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How to be a middle aged parent and still relate to your teenager (ish).

How to be a middle aged parent and still relate to your teenager (ish).

by | Funny, Parenting, Parenting Teenagers

 

It’s bad enough that I’m a middle-aged parent. The wrong side of 45. That I homeschool my kids and so therefore only get to speak to another adult when the farmer needs help shifting the cows.

It’s hard enough that  I emigrated from a trendy, city chic lifestyle in the heart of Bath a decision that I have to justify to my kids every time I get the HP sauce out. An hour from the city lights by train. Yes. There were trains. Real ones. With buffet cars and everything. (more…)

The 3 R’s of Parenting School.

The 3 R’s of Parenting School.

by | Funny, Parenting, Parenting Teenagers

You may not be aware of this, but all mothers attended parenting school.

Whether you remember or not is a different matter.

School started when they lifted baby off your chest to cut the umbilical cord. School ended when they placed baby- this time wrapped in a blanket, back onto your tummy or into the bassinet next to you.

Approximately 2.8 minutes.

That was your lot. (more…)

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